So I think my poor old mom might be reaching senility. Here's a story she just sent me:

I used to have a Labrador Retriever. I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart one day and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog (?).

On impulse, I told her no; I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. However, I had lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I was in the hospital because I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.